My wife received an I-Robot (vacuum cleaner) for her birthday last week. It was given to her by children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, so I was off the hook. A husband in his right mind will never give his wife that kind of gift. Kitchen stuff, cleaning stuff or anything that requires manual labor should be given by someone else. Ok, we're safe. In the middle of my Sunday afternoon nap, the I robot started coming across the room in a menacing fashion. The wife was nowhere to be found. Siamese cat (aged 14) hisses at it. One year old Aussie backs away from it. 87-year-old man just looks surprised. I wondered if there was an attack going on. Could this be Roswell all over again? Could it be another episode of War of the Worlds? Was I about to be evicted from my domicile that I worked so hard to pay for? Was it the Ravioli I had for lunch causing nightmares? I should have gotten up and investigated but the chair felt to good that I decided to wait it out. fortunately, my wife who had been napping in the master bedroom, woke up and remotely started the thing. Somewhere the Hoover family is shaking their head. No bag, no noise. Just a modern-day convenience proving once again that man, nor beast is fit for confrontation with machine. That is all, robot. You may return to your spot in the closet.