BUCK: I just think it’s important we speak the truth, and the truth is this notion, first of all, of a three-piece suit is not comfortable. I don’t care who you are, they’re not that comfortable. Suit jackets aren’t. But I understand, for business purposes and everything else, presentation matters. Okay. I’m willing to deal with the suit. But a tie? It’s like a strangulation device. This makes no sense. They’re not comfortable. For weddings, it’s the way I feel about black shoes. For weddings and funerals, fine.
CLAY: The only reason I’ll defend a tie — I will say this — is men have almost no other way to distinguish ourselves, right? ‘Cause the average guy you wear, like, a white shirt, a dark I can’t recollect and, like, whatever, dark pants. Women have all sorts of clothes that they can wear. The tie is maybe the only thing that can provide a little bit of flavor, right? You get the different color tie, the fun tie.
BUCK: Clay wants to share his flava!
CLAY: I’m not in favor of them. I’m just saying, there’s a reason why, when you go to a wedding, for instance, every man is wearing the exact same outfit, and we all look a little bit ridiculous. Now, obviously that’s because in general we don’t matter. Weddings, I would say are for women more than men. I’m probably just throwing myself into a —
BUCK: Clay ‘splaining like a madman today.
CLAY: I know. Women like weddings more than men. Just gonna point it out. And for everybody out there, by the way, who is listening right now, as a Southern man, if you have a fall wedding, I think that you hate everything that is good about America because the best thing about America is college football, and there’s not a man alive who listens to this show is in the South that is in favor of having to spend a Saturday going to watch a wedding — it doesn’t matter who’s getting married — over getting to watch college football games all day.
BUCK: Wow.
CLAY: Do you even know this?
BUCK: I thought I was —
CLAY: As a New Yorker?
BUCK: We don’t watch college football in New York.
CLAY: Did you even know that the fall wedding is like the third rail for a lot of people in the South, that you can’t even have a fall wedding because college football is so big?
BUCK: Learning something new every day.
CLAY: Oh. It is a monster faux pas. Now, I know every got backed up because of covid and every week for like the next 10 years is taken now and somebody out there is like, “It’s the only time we could get married in the certain place here.”
BUCK: What happens in the Northeast is we only get certain long weekends that are travel weekends.
CLAY: Yes.
BUCK: And a lot of people like to have the wedding Memorial Day weekend, like to have the wedding Labor Day weekend, Fourth of July weekend. That’s a big ask, folks. That’s a big… I mean, if it’s immediate family, of course they gotta be there. But if I’m the date and it’s really the Second Cousin Sally Beth or something who’s having the wedding, am I really supposed to give up my long weekend for this? I mean, that’s rough. I’m just saying it.
CLAY: You’ll appreciate this. I went to a fall wedding once, and I was like, “How in the world did you pick this fall wedding?” and I was like, “She’s pregnant, right?” and he was like, “Yeah, she’s pregnant.” So you have to avoid the shotgun wedding in the South, and you have to avoid the fall wedding, but if you have to choose between the two, you go fall wedding sometimes.
BUCK: So that was one little place where I thought we might… I’ll put out a poll. I’m wondering if people think I’m crazy. I’m an evangelist for comfortable feet and no necktie.
CLAY: Also, anti-basically people talking on their phones. (laughing) I saw your angry tweets about FaceTiming.
BUCK: Oh, I am leading an anti-phone rudeness revolution. I am a one-man wrecking crew. I lose my mind, and I don’t care. I don’t know what it is with people, but it’s gotten worse in the last couple years, I think, ’cause everyone’s, “Oh, well, FaceTime! I FaceTime for work.” It’s all about video. If you are in a public place on time with speakerphone on, you are a barbarian who is destroying our civilization.
CLAY: Do you FaceTime guy friends of yours?
BUCK: Do I what?
CLAY: Do you FaceTime guy friends of yours?
BUCK: No!
CLAY: I’m just curious. You couldn’t see the younger generation.
BUCK: Trick question.
CLAY: No, no, no. I understand if you’re dating a girl and, like, you want to see her and you want to FaceTime with her, but I am seeing increasingly like younger guys, instead of, like, texting or calling a friend, they will FaceTime each other and just like talk to each other on FaceTime.
BUCK: I have not seen that. That sounds —
CLAY: Oh, it’s monstrously big. I guarantee you there’s a lot of dads out there nodding along. A lot of teenagers, a lot early young age dudes, they FaceTime instead of calling.
BUCK: And I’m just gonna say it, I don’t know what it is, and I’m telling you hoping to become a parents myself over the next couple years. I don’t know what it is, but somewhere along the line, some parent decided that bringing the iPad for the kids to the restaurant. All right, you want to do that, that’s fair play, fair play. There’s a thing they’ve made called headphones and they belong on the child’s ears or in their ears at the restaurant. I do not want to hear Tickle Me Elmo while I am eating my filet mignon.
CLAY: Pull this clip, because I will tell you as a parent who may plan that your kids are gonna be great at the table, there is an awful lot of scramble. “Here, just take the phone, take the iPad, and watch a video,” and it is a saving grace. So I want to pull that clip, Ali, I want you to save this for Buck as dad, somebody is going to see Buck as dad, he’s gonna be out, he’s gonna have, like, eight kids, they’re all gonna have iPads going simultaneously, and he’s not even gonna be able to hear it.
BUCK: Civilization comes at a price, Clay. Freedom isn’t free, my friend, all right? And that includes iPad usage.
CLAY: The chaos that you are used to once you become a parent in terms of noise, in terms of all the zaniness and, like, you have like a Zen to it where you don’t even hear it the same ways you did before you had kids. And, by the way, Ali is saying about this, “Couldn’t you just put televisions at receptions?” This is also a big battle ’cause some brides don’t want their big day to be distracted by a football game. Again, no fall weddings. Just don’t do it. Just don’t do it.